I woke up at 12 noon, whenever I wanted to. Today, when happened to be 12 noon. I woke up and rolled out of bed and put on my suit, my Versace suit, my free suit that was given to me for free by Versace himself because he said "I'm so cool". I showered and shaved in 1 minute, beating my previous record of 1 minute and 1 second. With my suit on.
I decided to grab some food from Tommy's Pizza in New York so I flew there on my jet. We got there in 5 minutes and I sat in Tommy's for however long I wanted, it was an hour this time, and ate forty pizzas because they are so good and they are also free because Tommy, the owner, thinks I'm "so cool". He also said that my suit was the nicest suit he had ever seen. Well, I don't know about that.
After Tommy's I walked around Central Park and pointed and three girls and they gave me oral sex for five hours on a park bench. It was 73 degrees and sunny with a light breeze for all five of those hours. Some cops thought about stopping us, and maybe arresting us, but I just shot my laser beam eyes at them and they disappeared in a cloud of smoke. After the girls were done with the oral sex and I had orgasmed for an hour, which is how long I wanted to orgasm today, I decided to fly back home, to my home on the moon, to play moon soccer with my moon dog, Rex. I got to the moon in 5 minutes, beating my previous record of 6 minutes and 10 seconds, probably because I was flying the rocketship myself. I played moon soccer with Rex for 5 hours and then flew to Saturn to skateboard on the rings for five minutes before I decided to sleep for 40 years because I was sleepy and wanted to sleep for 40 years today.
So I got home at around 9pm, my favorite time of night, and put on my pure gold pajamas, but they are also pure thousand count threaded cotton too, just with the gold in them too to look so cool, and read the best book ever written, my favorite book, the one I wrote in 5 minutes, until I fell asleep.
Kevin texted me around 2am but I was sleeping.
1 comment:
LMAO!
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